Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Too Much, Too fast!

So many emotions. Too many for my likings.

so i graduate high school on friday. i never thought high school would end. but now it is. i dont quite know how to feel. part of me is so ready to get out of high school and on to bigger and better things. but the other part of me wants things to go to back to normal. the normal where i get up go to school hang with friends and then go to lax practice and etc. the normal high school life.

i have been too emotional lately. happy, sad, angry, i feel like i have felt every emotion possible multiple times in the last couple weeks. most recently its been overwhelmed. there is so much i want to do before i leave on saturday. (thats right the day after my graduation.) too many people i want to spend time with, too many things i want to plan. not enough time for any of it. i cant say no, i have to do it all. (i get that from my mother..)

another emotion i have is sadness. i am going to miss all my friends. :( i was doing pretty good about not crying. mostly because we try to not dwell on the topic.. but then i was talking to my best friend brandon and he doesnt know yet..but i started to cry. (we were chatting on facebook..oh technology these days.) dumb brandon making me i just know there are more tears to come. how dumb though? really? emotions are annoying.

(as Brittany Chinn would say.)

another emotion is fear. fear about my knee, how will things work out while being away from home. fear about my graduation speech, how will it turn out, will people actually be listening? and fear of college..i dont want to be the lame freshman who doesnt know that they are doing again. i mean im at a point now where to some extend i own the school. im a big fish in a big pond. i like it that way.. but now im gonna be a very small fish in a very big pond. and thats scary. and somewhat annoying..

well not the most eloquent post i was anticipating but there it is. most my emotions splat on this one blog post. sorry im an emotional mess.

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