Saturday, December 10, 2016

Never Alone

As you all probably know from all the posts, Josh is officially in the Army.

He is away at Basic Training at Ft. Jackson in South Carolina. Basic Training will last 12 weeks (with a 2 week break over Christmas!!!! YAY!!!) During Basic he will have no access to his phone, so old fashion letters will be our form of communication. It's been 3 weeks now and I've really been trying not to be too dramatic about this separation. Especially since he will come home for Christmas in one week. (YAY!!!!!!) But I've got to be honest, it's really hard. 

The first week was alright because it was his processing week so he was able to have his phone and call every night. I got to hear about how awful the drill sergeants were and even laugh with Josh about some of the silly mistakes other members in his platoon were making.

The second week got tougher as he started official training and wasn't able to use his phone and I received no letters, not because he wasn't writing them, they just haven't come. It was a week of me constantly wondering what his day to day was like and how he was doing. 

The third week I got a phone call! He called Monday during one of my classes and luckily they were at a part in the lesson where they were independent and it was a class I trusted so I could answer. It was such a relief to hear his voice. He told me training was really hard and he got very little sleep but everyday got a little better. Unfortunately he told me he hadn't received any letters yet. I had been writing him one everyday since I got his address. We talked for 5 minutes then I had to get back to teaching. Luckily he was able to call back in 30 minutes so I could talk more during a break in my schedule. I love that man. 

After that call I have had no communication with him. Still no letters. I'm counting down the days until he is home for Christmas. (7) 

This week I was reminded of a french phrase that perfectly describes how I feel. (Get ready it gets mushy.)

Tu me manques. 

It translates to "I miss you", but it's literally translated to "you are missing from me."

(Told ya it gets mushy...)

That is precisely how I feel. After almost 3 years of marriage (holy cow that went by fast) we have become such a close team that without him I really feel like part of me is missing. It's definitely a hard adjustment to life without my teammate a phone call away. There are so many instances during my day where I think, "Oh I should text Josh this." or "I can't wait to go home and tell Josh this hilarious thing my student did." But then I very quickly am reminded that I can't call or go see him, I have to write it in a letter that he'll get days (or weeks) from now. Like I said, I'm really trying not to be too dramatic about this time apart but this is my blog so I get to be dramatic here. 

Alright I'm done with the mushy stuff, for now. 

Even though this has been tough few weeks I have been overwhelmed by the love and support Josh and I have received. I've received so many sweet texts and gestures of people just letting me know they are there for me. My husband may be miles away with very limited communication but I am not alone. 

Just tonight, I went over to my best friends place to drop something off and intended to stay and chat for an hour. That hour chat turned into a 4 hour heart to heart that unfortunately ended with my car getting booted. After paying the fee to have it removed I decided I deserved some Wendy's since I skipped dinner and well, got booted. 

I ordered 4 chicken nuggets. I pulled up to the window and the employee noticed the boot warning flyer that was in my passenger seat next to me. He asked, "Did you get booted tonight?" I replied an annoyed, "yes.." Then he responded, "Oh I am so sorry, I'm going to give you a frosty to try to help improve your night." I was so surprised by his quick act of simple kindness. He came back with my nuggets and told him he gave me 8 instead of 4. He told he he hoped that this helped make my night better and I thanked him profusely with tears in my eyes. I know it's only a frosty and some nuggets but I was so taken back by his kindness. 

But wait this story gets more embarrassing...I drove away and reached in to the bag to get a nugget and when I pulled it out I just started to cry. Like really cry. Like cry enough that I had to pull over. So there I was holding a nugget in one hand and a frosty in the other, crying. Like a crazy person. I was just so overcome with gratitude for the little tender mercies my Heavenly Father has given me these past couple weeks. 

When I was starting to feel the most disappointed about not hearing from Josh I got all call from him the next day.

When Josh left for basic and I was feeling daunted about this new adventure my sweet manager sent me flowers. 

When traffic very suddenly stopped on my way to work a big truck was able to safely switch lanes so he wouldn't rear end me. 

When I was missing Josh at a work Christmas party a thoughtful co-worker came over to express her support.

When I started to feel discouraged at school my 1st graders noticed my Sodalicious shirt and learned that I work there and began clapping and cheering for me.

When I was really wishing Josh was with me watching Netflix, my sweet brother-in-law calls me to check in.

When I was starting to really feel lonely that my teammate was so unreachable I was reminded by a dear friend that I'm not alone. 

When I was feeling the most frustrated and upset an angel Wendy's worker gave me a free frosty and extra 4 nuggets. 

Heavenly Father reminds me time and time again that I am never alone. He is mindful of me and is watching out for me. He knows what I can handle and gives me encouragement along the way to remind me of my strength. He has given me the knowledge to know that this is exactly the plan that He has for us. We are doing exactly what he needs and wants us to do. He has given me that confirmation to never doubt that Josh is precisely where he needs to be and I am where I need to be. With that knowledge, when things get hard, I can remind myself of that fact and know that I can get through these next 5 months away from my teammate. 

Alright. I'm done being dramatic and mushy. It's all out of my system now. Until next time...thanks for reading. :)