Sunday, April 24, 2011

can't sleep..i guess ill blog!


well. it's been a while and i guess a lot has kinda happened? idk my mind is just racing right now of all the things i need to plan..and im becoming a little here is my list-

  • grad party
  • write graduation SPEECH (yes i have to speak since i am the class prez. grr)
  • get ready for summer term at BYU (i dont even know what this consists of..i just know i need to do it!)
  • do all the senior stuff like senior slideshow and basically plan graduation
  • prom dress/dresses
  • get asked to both proms (friends assure me its happening id just like it to happen sometime soon)
  • plan prom stuff. (dinner, pictures, limo?, etc)
  • knee surgery and rehab and all that crap..
ok. i think thats it. thats kinda a lot of big stuff though. gahhh its mostly all exciting stuff but also kinda stressful too. things are just happening so fast! there are like 38 school days until graduation which means like a month of school then COLLEGE. bittersweet. im gonna be such a mess with the mix of emotions. goodness. 

let me explain my knee thing. my knee blew up. k not blew up but i tore my ACL playing lax. its a real bummer. and yes there where times when (i made sure i was all alone..) that i broke down i cried cause it means i cant finish my lacrosse season, meaning i cant improve or stay in shape,  which means it will be that much harder to make the BYU lacrosse team. and i cant do the thing i probably love most right now. but after a couple days of feeling sorry for myself i got sick of being unhappy. i became determined to be happy. i bought a "reasons to be happy" notebook where each day i write the reasons im happy. its going pretty well. some days i forget and only right a couple things but im trying really hard to write everyday. and my amazing lacrosse coach gave us all these wristbands that support this young boy with brain cancer that his daughters lacrosse team adopted kind of that helps remind me that my predicament is not the worst that could happen. if this little boy with brain cancer fighting to stay alive can be as happy as can be there is no reason i cant. 
this knee thing has actually taught me a lot-
  1. it confirmed my desire to major in something to do with sports medicine, like athletic training or physical therapy
  2. it has taught me to seize every moment. my coach is always talking about "right now. right now is the time to be great and do the best you can..." and i believed him but never really took him up on it. now i wish i had. i kept telling myself before my knee blew up that i would be better next game, or work harder next practice, but then there wasnt a next game for me or a next practice. not to sound like im dead..but i cant improve anymore so i missed my opportunity to really play the game i love. 
  3. it taught me to be happy. i have so many reasons to be happy that there is no reason for me to be upset or pout for any reason. yea this knee things sucks but things could be a lot worse and i am so blessed in so many other ways.
im sure there will be more hard days to come after surgery with physical therapy and getting back to normal but things will work out. things always work out. 

well. i guess thats everything, now im tired and im going to bed. night bloggers! :)

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